In the Blink of an Eye...

In the morning, I will be the mother of a ten year old.  Double Digits.  A one and a zero standing side by side and I just keep thinking where in the sam hell did the time go???  A while back, I read a blog post that was flying around the internet. I was looking over my shoulder while reading it.  I could tell my face was getting warm and red...from embarrassment.  Countless friends were sharing it on Facebook and laughing and being, all, "Oh yeah, what do those old ladies in the check out line know?"    The comments, many of them cheering on the writer, telling her that she was brilliant and that they were words they could have written themselves.  I skimmed through the pages of comments, searching and searching for someone who shared my opinion.  There had to be at least one, right?  I found some, but we were grossly out numbered.

I had received those words that they were snickering about from my own dear cousin - and I had cherished them.  I took them to heart and I shared them with other new moms.  Now, I wondered if the moms who I'd shared them with were the ones who were now LOL'ing at this blog.   I felt so silly, reading those words.  New moms were not particularly receptive to all that, "Cherish every moment." mumbo-jumbo.  I get it to an extent.  Maybe the timing of the words isn't always right.  I mean, if little Johnny is hurling things from the carriage while you're shopping sleep deprived or you've got some dried up something or other on your shoulder....well, then, maybe it might not be the best time to tell a new mom to "cherish these moments because it goes by so fast."   It's just that those old ladies only see your sweet baby.   Their life experience sees past all of the chaos swirling around you in that current moment and they want to share that moment with you; to have a moment in time.

Right now, I might not be the mom of a child who is packing up and moving off to college. 

I might not be the mom of a child who is preparing to walk down the aisle. 

I might not be the mom of a child who is enlisting to serve our country...Although, I did glimpse that future once at the grocery store.   It was a hot summer day.  Both of my sons were decked out in their camo shirts & shorts, wearing their camelbacks full of water - looking quite ready for something, when the woman who was in front of me in line looked at them with that knowing smile.  She told me that her son was in Ranger Training in Hawaii.  I looked at my boys and then to the picture she had proudly pulled out of her wallet of her son's graduation from basic training.

I choked up.

I knew that she looked at my boys and thought, "It goes by in a blink of an eye."  She didn't say it.  She didn't have to.  Those words hung in the air regardless of whether or not they were uttered.  Mothers who have seen their children grow up before their eyes, know.  They look at those little kids in the check out line with their chubby fingers, missing teeth, skinned knees and they long for those days.   If they could build a time machine, it wouldn't be to go meet some crusty old queen or see the Pyramids in their heyday, it would be to spend just one more day with those chubby fingers and to kiss a boo boo all better.

I know that motherhood is not all pretty and fun and like the pictures in a magazine. { Although, I try damn hard to edit my photos & pair them with a clever status on Facebook so that it seems that way } Motherhood ~  It all starts with sleepless nights and smelly diapers; endless messy days filled with temper tantrums. There are tears and toys not put away.  Stacks of school papers that you think you'll never see the bottom of.  Yeah, all that crap, you don't think that you'll miss it or that you should have cherished it, but some day - and I'd put money on it, you will long for a day that you stayed in your jammies and never made it into the shower because you had been up all night with your baby.  Snuggling and soothing and smelling that new baby smell; from the topside preferably.  You'll miss all of those papers colored outside the lines, with at least one letter in their name made backwards.  That backwards letter that worried you and had you calling the teacher to make sure your little guy or girl was on track.   I'm telling ya, you're not gonna be laughing in a few years when you see your baby climb aboard the big yellow school bus or when your son walks off into the woods to go hunting with his dad. { I know I didn't } Or when you drop your daughter off at her first school dance looking like a young lady.  You're gonna cry and you're gonna wonder where the time went?

Seriously,  look at these pictures...I didn't age, but my son grew to my size, so it must have been in the blink of an eye!

Ok, clearly, I did age some.  I don't look like I'm 15 anymore...which isn't always a bad thing.  But it felt like it happened "in the blink of an eye".  

There are no words...

For the last few weeks, probably months even, I have been feeling incredibly nostalgic.  Many an hour I have spent flipping through the pages of photo albums, one of which will be ten years old soon.  Ten years old soon because tomorrow morning at approximately 4:40am my first son was born.  I call him G Love and Special Sauce and he hates it.   He is the light of my world.  I am who I am today because of him.

For the past few days, I've been working and crafting this wildly funny and sarcastic blog in response to a blog I read a few months ago disparaging the notion of, "Carpe Diem" as it relates to being a new mom.   I had some witty rebuttals and my own antidotes of when words like, "Cherish every moment" and "time flies by" were bestowed upon me.

In light of the horrific tragedy today, I can't imagine that there is one parent on the face of the planet who doesn't already know how precious each and every moment with their child is.  Posting it now would be in the poorest of taste.

I can't remember any time that I have ever been so upset, not even on September 11, 2001.  And we all know how devastating that day was,  but that was Pre-K for me.  Pre-Kids that is.   When people tell you how having children will change your life, there is no way to put it into words.  It's a feeling.  It's your heart on your sleeve.  Your children are your heart beating freely and carelessly outside of you.   The reaction that I feel today from this unspeakable tragedy has made me fully and completely see the difference becoming a mother has made in my life.

I am heaving and sobbing.

We have talk radio on most of the time at work so we heard what was going on.  We saw accounts of a shooter at a school online.  For hours, the only news was that a teacher was shot in the foot.  Not that that isn't terrible, but when the story changed and they said that children were shot and killed.

I lost it.  I know that I am not alone in feeling this way.   Losing a child is every parents' worst nightmare, never-mind to have it happen like this.  There are no words.  There are no words.

I hope I don't have my head bitten off for this...

I have a Menorah on my mantle and the Star of David on my Christmas tree.  I am not Jewish.  My husband is not Jewish.  Therefore, my sons are not Jewish.  Yet, there are at least three Stars of David on my Christmas Tree and a Menorah {made from paper } propped up on my mantle...the very same mantle that our Christmas stockings hang from.

And yet, there it is.

I'm not freakin' out.  My kids haven't started wearing yamakas and speaking Yiddish.

All of these religious symbols were made at school.  Made at the school my children attend.  A public school.  "Separation of Church and State" has been slung around so much this month, with ever increasing ferocity each "Holiday Season" { as it is now called } that I want to vomit.  The Separation of Church and State is not even in the Constitution of the United States of America, yet people throw it around willie nillie any time God is written or uttered in a government run something or other. 

The First Amendment does, however, play off of it Jefferson's phrase "Church and State":  "Conrgress Shall make no law respecting an  establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free  exercise thereof."  I'm not sure how that translates into we have to paint the country grey and strip each citizen of its heritage and traditions, but really, isn't that what is being done when we hideaway any semblance of any celebration?  

A Christmas Tree was taken out of an RMV because it offended someone.  Seriously, if any place in this country needs some holiday cheer, it's the RMV!  The annoyed people are a little bit right.  America is not a 100% Christian-Jesus-Loving country.   In the world, there are as many ways to believe and not believe as there are countries in the world.   I'm pretty sure there is probably representation of each of them right here in this country.  After all, that is why America is called the "melting pot".   What the separation of Church and State means, the reason that we have it that is, is the reason the Englishmen left England.  The Church of England was forcing their religion on everyone. 

Over the past few weeks, I have heard some wild and crazy things.  You'd think it was a real life skit with Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd writing the news stories.  Frosty the Snowman was put in the Manger of a Nativity Scene?  Are you kidding me?  Below are a few arguments I've read or heard for taking holiday celebrations out of schools.

Religion has no place in school. 

The thing about religion is that it is intertwined into the fabric of our lives.  Wars are fought over it.  Songs are sung in praise of it.   Literature is inspired by it.   Whether or not you believe in God and how you believe in God is irrelevant to that fact that people do.   Many, many people do.   You can't teach history without talking religion.

The religion we practice is different than the ones they are teaching/celebrating at school.  My children will be confused.  { she specifically used Christian-Jewish example }

Really?  A Menorah is going to confuse your kids?  I'm pretty sure that Jesus was Jewish and it's actually nice to discuss Jesus and his past.  Doesn't our past shape the person we are today?  Tell your children about the miracle of light and the symbolism of the candles.  Sheesh!

Well, we don't believe in God.  At all.  I don't want my kids learning about the baby Jesus.   

Ok.   Not learning about the baby Jesus isn't going to make the baby Jesus go away.   And if they don't practice anything, then how is learning about someone else's faith going to confuse them?

During this Holiday Season, we have the culmination of so many celebrations.  Hmm, something about that longest, darkest, day and light coming into the world that seemed to be a good time to place God.  God is light.  Light is Good.  God is Good.   However simple it needs to be explained.  

What we have during this month of December is a tremendous opportunity to learn.  We can learn about Christmas and how Christians celebrate.   We can learn about Hanukkah and how it is celebrated.  There is Kwanza, The Winter Soltice and Bohdi Day as well.   And please, don't forget the Festivus for the Rest of Us.   Education leads to understanding and where else should we teach children about other cultures and the ideas and faith that they hold dear?  I think school seems like a pretty good place to start.   

Erasing celebrations doesn't increase tolerance, education does.  Learn about your neighbor, love your neighbor, whether they are Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist,  Pagan, or Atheiest.   We can coexist.

Listamania

Is this month not the mother of all lists?  Christmas gift lists for the kids, the teachers, co-workers, family and friends.  To-Do lists for writing out cards and picking up the stamps…once you cross off creating and ordering your cards that is.  Ah, the list for baking cookies, dropping off Toys for Tots, putting up the decorations and finding the perfect tree.  Lists – Friend or Enemy? Helper or Hindrance?  That is the question!

The thing about listing and I don’t mean when a sailboat has lost its wind and floats lifelessly about, although that is how I felt sometimes when I  was thinking of making all of those endless lists.   Notes on scraps of paper, food items you’ve run out of scrawled on the white board, “Post its” scattered helter skelter to call your attention to the more urgent needs.  They all made me crazy!  All of them.  Ok, well, except for the post-its.  All summer long while my husband was backing the truck up the driveway before the sun had even begun to creep up over the trees there was always a post-it greeting him.   I placed one on the dashboard each night just past midnight as I crept home at that un-Godly hour from work.  We were two ships passing in the night all summer long while he was in the Academy and I worked evenings.   They were quick-love-notes.  I could never be mad at those cute little stickies. 

But,  all of the other scraps of paper, stacks of words on the back of an envelope, errands to be run written out on a receipt, the endless listing on any scrap of paper….those ones.  I hated them!  And I decided to make them stop ruling my life.  I rule them now.  All of the things that I need to do, whether it’s to remember to pick something up, order cupcakes, take down directions; it all goes in my little book.

I finally put it out of my mind that I will ever finish a list, as in complete everything on it.  Sheesh, because that’s like saying, “I finished the laundry.”  Or “I put all of the dishes away.”  Or “I have the house cleaned.”   All of those things are the same as shoveling while it’s still snowing.  They never end, there will always be more.  Your “to-do” list will always grow like the grass in the summer time.  That’s life.  It’s how you deal with the list that matters.   Wow, I’m getting deep here!  I’m sure there are people out there that just wing it.   Living on the edge, they are.   Running to the store without a shopping list.  They probably jump out of airplanes too!  Sadly, I am like am like a stumbling fool in the dark without a list. 

I have been working hard this past year to break the habit of starting new lists and then frantically digging for them in my bottomless pocketbook when I finally arrive at the store.  I’ve become much more efficient.  I have a little book, it’s nothing special, just a plain old little spiral notebook to jot down all of my reminders.  It keeps addresses from new friends and pieces of random information - tidy; all in one place.    I am down to four unused pages.  My little book is tattered and torn, but it has kept me sane since January – relatively speaking.  Ahh, a New Year’s resolution that I have succeeded at!  I’m not saying that I don’t go rogue sometimes and scribble something on the back of a work order { like the notes for this post } but for the most part, I think I’ve got it!

I even rewarded myself with a new cute pink notebook with my initial on it!   

Merry Birthday & Happy Christmas!!!

December is my month to shine!  So, the whole reason that I created this blog was that I’m a super over-scheduled nut who can’t say, “no” and I am always racing around to get things done and usually at the last minute.  That's my calling card - Lastminutemama!

Yes, that was me on November 30^th close to midnight, burning my fingers on the glue gun, slicing up glittery paper and squeezing warm chocolate into little Christmas trees molds & topping them with sprinkles.  And, yes, I was scribbling seasonal delights on tiny tags so that the boys would have something to look forward to as we counted down to Christmas. Ahh, the Advent Calender is done…just the nick of time.  Ok, truth be told, I finished writing out the tags the next night because I had run out of ideas and needed to call in for back up.  My mom came up with, "write letters to soldiers, drop food off at an animal shelter and a few other good ones."

Really, it’s the story of my life, racing around and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I’m destined to be that way, in fact.  I remember just a little over 10 years ago, I was sitting in a deck chair at a family cookout when someone’s aunt, aunt-in-law, no relationship to me, asked when I was due.  When I told her December 25^th, she replied that I had ruined my child’s life and his or her birthday would always be over-shadowed by Christmas and he’d receive joint presents. 

Umm, thank you?  Maybe next you'd like to just say, "Congratutions."  ...I wish I had said that!

Well, he does receive joint presents…very often, but they are not joint Birthday/Christmas presents.  They are joint Birthday/Birthday presents and joint Christmas/Christmas presents with his brother.  Somehow, I managed to ruin his life too and gave him a December birthday as well.

What that crotchety old lady didn’t know is that I am a master juggler, creative craftster and we rock the Birthday-Christmas month of December. Although the boys due dates were Dec 25 & 24^th, I did manage to pop them out on the 15^th & 10^th.  So, I didn’t totally ruin their lives! Ha, take that! 

If you ask them when their birthdays are, they will tell you on Christmas!  Being “Christmas Babies” is something that they take very seriously.  Wearing a Santa hat on a beautiful fall day while we enjoyed an Art Stroll – it’s been done.   Sleeping with the red stocking cap on in summer – Yup!  It’s a year round phenomenon. And so when December rolls around, we turn it up a notch.  The 12^th month is all for them and we celebrate like nobody's business the whole time through with cookie making, tree lightings, movie marathons, shopping for Toys for Tots, seeing the Christmas lights, decorating our home, taking a trip to Edaville and on and on.   I do remember worrying in the beginning that we'd have to keep their birthdays separate from Christmas and for a while we would never pick out a tree until after the 15^th, but really we just needed the boys to guide us and let us know how they wanted December to be One-Big-Crazy-Hoopla of fun! 

And so Merry Birthday and a Happy Christmas to my boys!!!

The days after Thanksgiving...

After taking one day to completely veg out in my pajamas on the couch,   I was so super productive for the rest of the weekend.   I know that I had planned on spending the day after Thanksgiving putting up Christmas decorations, but I had forgotten just how pooped I’d be!   We had a great Thanksgiving!  I read my post, “Let’s Make Cookies,” to my mom the night before.  She laughed and said that it was only half true…We used to storm the kitchen ON Thanksgiving Day while she was cooking!  She said she’d run to the bathroom & let out a little, “God, why now???” scream, compose herself and then let us tear the kitchen apart to make the cookies!  Fortunately for me, my boys didn’t storm the kitchen to make cookies, we did however watch a LEGO Star Wars parody and although it was funny, I kept thinking to myself that I should be pealing vegetables or something for the big meal.   I really need to work on that relaxing and sitting still thingy!
 

 

So, Thanksgiving went like this: We got up & got dressed.  Scoffed down breakfast.  I threw the bird in the oven.  We ran our 5K. {Gorgeous day!!!}  Returned home for meal prep!  I was surprised that without pealing and chopping everything the night before that everything was ready on time, but it was.  One more victory – I eliminated my neurotic over-planning & prepping and everything turned out just fine.  If only I would have known that the night before…then I might have laughed a little harder at LEGO Chewbacca & his antics with C3PO!

Still one for the win column!


We snuck in a Christmas Tree lighting with the Cub Scouts and saw Santa on Friday night.

 

 

 

Fully rested come Saturday, we headed to music lessons on time.   This is one place that having a little check list comes in so handy.   Ever since I’ve posted the Saturday morning routine on the fridge consisting of four simple tasks:

1. Eat Breakfast

2. Get Dressed

3. Brush teeth & hair

4. Have guitar & drum sticks ready by the door

There has been little to no rushing around, nor has there been raised voices (mostly mine) on Saturday mornings.  It’s amazing what a little guidance and clarity can do for a 6 and 9 year old!  At 9 o’clock, I just give them the nudge and they’re off and running.   Of course, the instant  gratification of the kindle when they’re done is super helpful too!   Ok, helpful parenting hint over – back to my awesomely productive weekend!

I took all of the Christmas decorations down from the attic – bin by bin, box by box.  I even rounded up all of the stragglers that hadn’t made it back in to their bin at the end of last season.  I can’t believe it, but I actually have a bin in my sewing room for random holiday decorations – it’s like the land of misfit toys expect they’re just your odd silver star or plaid bow that missed the train back into the attic. 

The cat “Clark Griswald” himself into the attic stairs and had himself a nice nap before I pulled the stairs down later that night!

As we unwrapped the goodies of Christmases past, I listened to the "Oohing" and "Ahhing" from my boys.  I think the best part of Christmas is the reminiscing about the sweet memories attached to each keepsake.  The tiny footprint reindeer to the handprint Santa.  To the ornaments picked up on a special trip or the photo in a frame painted at preschool.  Oh, the trip down memory lane!  I went through everything and gave it the old “keep, donate or trash” song and dance that everything that crosses my path has been receiving lately.  I’m not waiting for a special day to sort through the attic or turning a blind eye on decorations that I haven’t used in ages and plan on never using again.  Sorry to all of you red, green & gold decorations, but you’ve served your purpose here and now it’s time for you to move onto greener pastures!  All boxed up and ready to head to Savers.

Clearly none of those handmade pieces slipped into the donate or trash box.  A little glue here, a new ribbon there and they were good as new.

Of course, when I found the stockings that I made last year, I had to set up my sewing machine because I never did the finishing top-stitch on three of them…must have run out of time and said, “Good enough.”  And if you’ve ever read, “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” you might be able to imagine what happened when I finished the stockings.  I proceeded to slice and dice fabric for some wristlets and moved onto some table runners I started with my mom last November.  

Come Sunday Morning, I set up shop and had every intention of working on a quilt that has been sitting on the proverbial back burner for way too long.  I’m great with a deadline 99% of the time, but when I miss a deadline, in this case because the baby came before the due date, then I’m dead in the water.   I gave myself a new end point, but fell short because it was unrealistic to finish it while I was finishing up courses and graduating.  Anyway…months later, many months later it is still not done!   I feel ashamed – red in the face!

I set up the machine, put the quilting foot on and was ready to go.  I was, but the machine wasn’t.   Wrong needle for quilting and no spares – wah, wah.  What’s a girl to do, when she’s ready to sew and her machine isn’t?  Duh, start a new project!  Onwards and upwards.  I dug out the pattern for the tree skirt to match the stockings.  It’s not like I’m lengthening my to-do list, I did finish one project and I’m only starting one new one.  It’s a “break even”  in my eyes!

http://mccallpattern.mccall.com/m3777-products-2473.php?page_id=910

 

Did you set out your decorations after Thanksgiving?  Make something new?  Clear out the old stuff?

Let's Make Cookies!

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I’m giddy!  For the first time in what seems like forever,  I will have the day after Thanksgiving off!  Yay,  for one more day to spend with my boys.  {Daddy will be working ~ Boo!}  It will be a day to decorate and craft with the fire roaring and our jammies still on – Wee!!!  When I think about my boys and the age they’re at, I remember back to my own Thanksgivings as a child…and not that I didn’t know already who I inherited my overachiever gene from, but the night before Thanksgiving certainly is signature moment.

My mom would be peeling and chopping the potatoes, turnips and squash. 

Cleaning the house. 

Setting the table. 

Decorating and preparing for 25 or so guests.

And my brother, sister and I would rush the kitchen and beg to make Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookies. 

Back then, yes I’m using the phrase “back then”…I must be getting old, but back then you couldn’t buy pre-made cookie dough.   We wanted to make cookies and the only method was one that required mixing the dry ingredients in a medium mixing bowl and the wet ingredients in a large mixing bowl.  We would need baking soda, a pinch of salt, white sugar, brown sugar, eggs, butter, which needed to be softened, but not melted.  There was vanilla to be added.  And the whole, gooey, mixture needed to be blended carefully with a fork as you slowly added the dry ingredients or else, it was big pain in the butt to mix.  And every year when we asked my mom if we could make cookies… she said, “Yes”.  Never did she get flustered or annoyed.  She would let us make the biggest stinkin’ mess in that kitchen on the night that she needed the kitchen the most.  My mother is a living Saint, I am sure of it.

I definitely inherited her ability to juggle, but not so much the endless patience.  Honestly, I don’t remember my mother ever raising her voice to me, well, expect when I was a teenager and stumbled in way past my curfew.   I’m sure there were times that she must have lost her patience, but I suppose those memories are washed away with things like baking cookies on Thanksgiving eve, handmade costumes on Halloween and the endless amount of time that she spent with us.  She was never too busy, never too overwhelmed, just always ready to do whatever needed to be done.   And maybe that is why I try to do so much.   I want to smother my boys in good memories of glitter covered tables & sticky fingers from making cards.  Or from paint covered clothes because we painted a mural inside their tree fort.  Or because of pricked fingers from teaching them how to sew their very own mushroom stuffies.  I want all of the fun stuff to squish out any trace of me ever making my voice loud or being short tempered.  I want them to rush the kitchen while I’m peeling potatoes, well, I’m not giving them the idea, but let’s just say it if they did, it would make me smile.

And so, the other day when I was out shopping for all of the Thanksgiving fixings, I grabbed a bag of Toll House Morsels and tossed them into the cart!

Happy Thanksgiving! 

DCWH everyday!!!

          Over the Summer, on a beautiful weekend morning, I had a brilliant thought.  I thought 15 minutes, what does it really mean in the course of the day?  Is it too much time or just enough time?  I suppose it depends on if you're a glass half full or empty type of person.

          Too frequently, I find myself rushing around and never sitting still, always thinking about something or listing; just trying to manage my time.  At work, I do this on my coffee break.  I grab a cup of coffee and I sit at my desk researching ideas for den meetings,  pinning cute holiday crafts on Pinterest, making lists, planning dinner {in my head} and when I take a sip of my coffee - it's cold.  My break is over, my coffee's cold and for what?  To make a list of more things for myself to do???

           And so, I have instituted DCWH.  And for those of you that can't read my mind, that translates to Drink Coffee {or beverage of your choice} While it's Hot.  As simple as it seems, I dare you to try it.   There are some guidelines that help you reach the bottom of your cup while the beverage is still hot.  Here they are:

 

 

 

1. Find a comfortable place to sit.  I often choose the least distracting place, such as the neatest room in the house { you don't need a sink full of dishes staring you down & making you feel like a lazy slouch} At work, I find an empty office or sit on the front steps if it's nice out.

2.   No Screens!  "Gasp"  I know, I know, but you can do!  This is the most crucial step.  Back away from the desktop, close the laptop, tuck the phone away and yes, the tablets too.  Honestly, you can't even have a book or a magazine.  They can suck you in too and then you're coffee will be cold and you will have failed.

That's it.  Just two things - Comfortable Seat & No distractions.  Go ahead and try it, it's freakin' wonderful!!!

Oh, and because I a geek, I'll just add that 15 minutes is less than 3% of your day, but it is worth so much more when you take those minutes for yourself!

So go ahead try it!  What are you waiting for?

No New Projects...

             Down in the dungeon of a sewing and craft room that I have for myself, there is a note, or a sign, if you will,  that I put up for a few years ago.   It seems that many who are blessed with creativity are also cursed with the worst case of ADD the world has ever seen.  It all starts with one idea and as you begin that one project soon more ideas and tricks about how to do it better next time, along with spin off ideas bubble up and before you know it your brain is bubbling over with thoughts.  And it’s not as simple as covering the pot or turning the heat down by scribbling the new ideas onto paper and setting them aside.  It’s quite different, like those little ideas, so new and exciting, have their very own gravitational pull.   And like a magnet to fridge, like a moth to the flame you drop what you are doing and try out the idea.  

             After years of jumping from project to project, along with wedging in projects that people are paying you for,  sneaking in time for the holiday sewing & crafting, being on the receiving end of boxes of fabric from old ladies who have gone to heaven & rescuing fabric from friends who might have otherwise tossed it, this stuff really starts to pile up.  Tucked deep inside the bundles of fabric are often UFOs {Un-Finished Objects} as if you don't already have enough of your own!  The sewing room begins to resemble something out of hoarders, minus all of the dead kittens.  No dead kittens yet.  Add a side of "two boys who love to craft, but not put things away" and it’s the perfect storm of unproductiveness.  Most times if I am lucky enough to spend a minute down there, it’s to organize and put stuff away.  Don't we spend half of our lives putting stuff away?  It sure seems like it.  So, anyway, I tacked up a sign a few years ago that reads, “No New Projects.”   Hahahahaha!!!   It taunts me and looks over my shoulder.  Quietly smirking,  “I see you, starting yet another project”  Well not today!!!  Today was the first day of making a true effort to stop piling it on! 

                
              

              Check out these beauties!  Four UFOs completed and quite a bit of progress on some others.  I did come across some fabric that I had cut on the diagonal and have no idea what the heck I had planned on doing with it.  Don’t cha love that?  I’m sure it was something brilliant, too bad I didn’t leave my future self a note, some instructions or a picture...oh well!

             In addition to finally getting off of my butt and finishing some projects I had finally come to terms with the fact that the dungeon, I meaning sewing room was out of control.  I swear, I had been almost paralyzed by the shear mass of what had piled up in that room that I just didn't know where to begin.   So, about a month ago,  I started spending an hour here and there sorting through fabric and craft supplies that I had accumulated over the years and did that whole, “save, donate, trash” routine that I had seen on Clean Your House.  I filled up the back of my SUV with boxes and bags...three times!!!  Once I came to the realization that there just wasn’t enough time on God’s green earth to do all of the things that I wanted to do, nor did I really want to spend all of my times doing them, then the purging process sped up quite a bit.  Do I need these dishes from college?  Who was I kidding, making mosaics with them? Pfiff.  And the beads?  I don't bead, never had and probably never will.  Goodbye beads.   Oh and the yards and yards of fabric that I've inherited which is the type of fabric that I pretty much never sew with, umm, because it's slippery, stretchy and for making clothes.  Yeah, I don't make clothes.   Well, not unless you are a cutie p'toodie five year old who begs his mommy to make him a green bathrobe with Rex from Star Wars on it.   Yeah, that's pretty much the only time I make clothes.    

And just to recap, if you're in need of scaling down and getting back to what you love, follow these steps:

Purge

Purge

Purge

No New Projects {unless it's a frivolous blog that contains ranting & tells people what to do even if you're no expert on the subject - then it is completely acceptable.}

Finish your UFOs

Rinse and Repeat

And so it begins...

               When you’re racing out to grab your morning caffeine, your life-line, and you realize that your freezing as you approach the coffee shop and wonder where your jacket is only to remember that you overslept because you didn’t set your alarm clock and frantically left the house without it, not even realizing that it was barely 40 degrees out, because you were too busy calculating in your head how late you’d be to work and what excuse you’d use in the event that someone asked, then it’s time to reevaluate.  It is time to reevaluate. Time to figure out why you’re always rushing around.  Why you are always forgetting everything.  Why you spend what seems like half of the day, looking for your cars keys or cell phone – often calling yourself just to find said phone.  It’s time.  

               Years ago, if I wasn’t 15 minutes early, then I felt like I was late. I had neat organized lists for everything.  I planned for any situation and was beyond ready for any and all circumstance thrown my way.  Of course, at some point I snapped.  I remember the exact moment, as if it were yesterday, but it was years ago.  I’d say eight or nine years ago.  I’m sure that if I dug out a calendar I could pinpoint that specific date, but really, who cares?  I’m hardly a detail girl anymore.  The pendulum has swung so far in the other direction, that I hardly recognize myself. Now, I’m pretty much always 15 minutes late – for every thing.  Feeling unprepared seems to be the new normal.   I have no time.  I know that everyone is busy and we are allotted the same amount of time each day and it all comes down to my time management skills. I am in no way blaming anyone but my self for this hectic existence that I struggle with, but I am going to start digging myself out from underneath the rubble of sticky notes, charity fundraising, lists, crafts, alerts, volunteering, running & more.   I am like Marcia Brady freshman year of high school when she signed up for every activity under the sun and become completely overwhelmed.  I bring this on myself because I can’t say no!  Well, I must say “No” from now on.  

               My life has taken on so many new challenges this year.  In the past, I could juggle of all this.  Not any more.  I am essentially a single mother, well, except for the fact that I have a husband.  I see him for about 12 hours a week, unless you count the fact that our sleep schedules overlap.   Our time is precious.  We need to make every second count, which in turn means that I need to stop being Marcia Brady.  I need to understand that right now, I need to start saying “no”.  I love doing stuff, helping out & making crafts.  I love being busy, really I do, but I have come to understand that for my own sanity, I also need a minute to myself.  Just last night I pleaded with my boys when they went to bed, that I would really appreciate them actually staying in bed and falling asleep.  Mommy needs a few minutes to herself, alone with quiet to clear her head – to plan out the next day.

                And how better to scale back on life than to start a blog!  I know, I’m a glutton for punishment.  I am shaking my own head as I write this.  I know I am crazy and knowing is half the battle, says GI Joe.  There, I’m on the right track.  Clearly.  

                In all seriousness, One of the side effects of all of this over loading my plate has been that I never spend time doing the things that I LOVE to do.  I seldom write.  I seldom take photos. I seldom sew.   I want to do things for myself.  Uggh, that sounds extremely selfish, I know.   It’s just that I don’t even know what my true favorite things are anymore.  I have spread myself so thin with my time and talents (don’t laugh, we all have talents.  I’m not being vain, there is a point I’m trying to make.) Where was I?  Ok, stretched so thin with my time and talents that I’m not “great” at anything.  Essentially, I have become a Jack of all trades, master of none.  I want to be a master at something.  Some “one thing” that I love.  Ok, probably three things; like a trifecta of photos, writing and sewing.  The “one thing” is more about a focus for my trifecta.  I need a focus!   And, so it begins, the balancing of order and chaos.

                 So, are you walking the balance beam too?  Tell me about your day?  How do you juggle it all?